Monday, November 7, 2005

The clock showed 10 minutes to 10 pm. It was a small reception room of a small hospital - with an attached dispensary - in the basement of the possibly rented building. I was hiding myself in my "Just Naturals" jacket and a wollen scarf from the chill winds of the rainy bangalore night. My temperature was running up and down at random and my head pressing hard against my shoulders indicating pain. I was wondering if there were any doctors on duty at that time, but my brother was there telling me that he had checked the availability already.

I sat there in one of those black steel chairs, empty due to odd hours of my visit. I sat there waiting to be attended. The receptionist-cum-compounder looked at me finally after rejecting a few pleading looks from me. I asked for a general physician and he began punching a few numbers on the green phone on his desk.
"There is a patient, waiting." "ok."
I was wondering if I heared it as a patient or a scrape-goat. I turned to my brother, my eyes shouting a known fear of doubt. He reassured me.
"Whoever that doctor is, definitely he would have studied atleast MBBS and that is more than enough to treat you!"
I guessed he meant 'your illness' rather than the literal 'you' there! Somehow I was satisfied with that explanation! Well, I desparately wanted some explanation and this sounded far more logical than any wild excuse! We were waiting for the "doctor" to come.

Minutes later a woman rushed in, middle-aged, loose-hair, sleeveless - red and white salwar, worry dominating the tiredness in her face, her breath hinting her urgency.
"Can you please give me the blood-pressure apparatus? I need it to check the BP of... There is no one else at home. I've left things as such and come here. I've to get back home soon. I'll bring it as soon as I get it checked or you can come with me and check it up for me, or do send a sister with me... I'll drop her back in my vehicle too... it would hardly take 5 minutes..."

She was standing there, but seemed as though she was on her knees, begging.
"But I've to get the Doctor's permission..."
"Oh please do something soon, dont you see it's urgent? We donot know if the medicine's effect will hold the pressure to normal for long. I need to check it..."
She was holding a mobile phone, a hair band, a bunch of keys (probably the car keys) in her hands, occasionally clasping them out of impatience. And there he was, standing in front of her, so cool, so proud, as if he's being honored with 'The god of all worlds' title for some noble reason he alone can explain. He turned to share his honor and joy with his fellow being, explaining in kannada, what she had been asking him for all this while in hindi and in the process radiating a shameless smile.

That smile left me completely numb for few minutes that I even lost track of the very pain I was supposed to feel. Before I could think what was going on, the "doctor" had arrived and I went in for "consultation". He took some 3 minutes to get our prescription scribbled on a writing pad. We got our medicines billed by the receptionist himself and started walking out. But she was still standing there, waiting for 'the god of all worlds' to show mercy on her...

Was I to slap him for that shameless sinful smile?
Was I to blame her for not getting the patient admitted in hospital for proper care instead of making such hopeless attempts in the last moment?
Was I to ask the doctor who had attended me to help her out? Atleast that was the reason he was giving all that while!
Was I to blame myself for being a mute spectator to all this drama and then cribbing about it later when not a single word of what I write or what I even think is going to matter to her?